Marriage Preparation Course

conducted by the Rev. Andy Leroux

It is a course that is designed to be as relevant, encouraging and thought provoking. It is not designed to intimidate, but to be interactive with the couple. Its’ main goal is to provide a solid basis for marriage. It is to help couples to help them in their life long commitment and to be secure in that commitment. The following is the outline of the course:

Session 1:	To be loved and to love, to be accepted and to accept. These principles are the underpinnings for everything we hope for and want to happen in our lives. We cannot truly be without them. If we do not get these essentials legitimately, we will find ways, i.e. control and manipulation, to get them illegitimately.
Session 2:	Are you Greek or Jewish? Plato, who was Greek proposed the notion that the Spirit was good and the body was evil; that with the body evil, you could either mortify it or indulge it. It made no difference to him; what mattered was that the Spirit was eternal. This splitting of the two: body and sole is not heir splitting; the western world has adopted this notion, thus, we have a compartmentalization. We split for example the secular from the sacred. On the other hand, the Jewish understanding of life is what is called integration: that the body, soul and spirit all affect one another. So when we come to marriage, we need to realize that every part of our life together is of outmost importance. We cannot separate the physical from the spiritual, for example, a woman’s body is very much tied up with her dignity and her person. In our modern world, we have tended to separate these two.
Session 3:	It has been often said that opposites are attracted to each other. In this session, we will deal with the four temperaments: they are sanguine, choleric, melancholy and phlegmatic. We will explore each temperament in terms of its strengths and weaknesses. It is interesting to note that each temperament has equal amounts of strengths and weaknesses; not one temperament is superior. Each one of them stands uniquely on its own. The problem with most relationships is that we begin our relations recognizing our strengths with each other, but when we get to know each other better, we see our flaws. The question is: how do we respond?
Session 4	Expectations: This session is an interactive with a couple. This session can be relevant and helpful only to the degree to which the couple themselves are open to each other. We know that couples talk and everything seems good on the surface, but what are the motives and intents of the heart? What do you expect from each other?
Session 5	Why do I want to marry you? Again, this is interactive. This involves honesty and transparency. This will keep you on course when things between you get rough. This brings us back to causes. That’s why it is imperative that we write down our thoughts and keep them in a safe place for review.
Session 6:	Communication, communication, communication! Someone coined the phrase: keep short accounts with each other. It is so easy to have things build up over a period of time. If you are not prepared to talk to each other, not about the mortgage, children, etc, but talk to each other about each other. This is monumental; men particularly have difficulty doing this; we would rather talk about sports and not deal with life’s real issues.
Session 7:	Does God have a Place in Our Marriage? God is our greatest asset in marriage. Through Him, we can experience forgiveness and hold out to our partner the importance of our own forgiveness to them. God is the author of marriage. He alone can make any marriage not just good, but great. We need to allow him to have our marriages. The power of His blessing is enormous!